Some of you are aware of the free program that I published for firefighters, police and military (www.recuper8.org) to “pay forward” what I’ve had the privilege of learning from my teachers. The terrible price my father paid to serve his country unknowingly steered my career to discover resources which could prevent other families from carrying similar burdens. How could I NOT share the solutions which I’ve learned?
I now share with you another gift which changed and most likely saved my life. The quantity of life, I cannot prove that it enhanced, though I’d certainly argue the point, but the quality of life improvement remains undeniable. It represents the differences between sufficient and stellar performance, between adequate and vibrant health, and between mere stress “management” and resilience to crises when they happen.
Before I give you the download link, I’d like you to understand why I can and would give it away for free. Integrity means everything to me. If you know me already, just scroll down and click on the link to take you directly to the website. But if you will allow me, I’d like to share with you an important story…
I have had a few pivotal teachers in my life, and a few friends who supported me when even my family, doctors and teachers had dismissed my dream as silly fantasy. I aimed to learn or create solutions to the excessive stress which destroys us our health, family life, vocational capability, and quality of living. I had no idea how to do this, but one person, my wrestling coach, told me a story which changed my life, though I doubt he would have predicted its full impact.
My coach spoke to our team before a tournament, explaining how there may be long hours between matches. Advising us to not leave the tournament area, he said that any one of us competing would need our support even if we couldn’t tell that our teammate knew we were there. Even if we didn’t do anything other than sit at the edge of the mat and watch the match, our teammate would grow in confidence because of our presence.
He told us a story…
“Several wrestling teams from around the world were training in a wrestling camp in Asia. While spending the day hiking, two of the wrestlers fell into a deep pit. The other wrestlers gathered around the pit to see what could be done to help their comrades. When they saw how deep the pit was, the dismayed teams agreed that it was hopeless and told the two wrestlers in the pit they were as good as dead.
Unwilling to accept this fate, the two began to climb with all of their might. Some sorrowfully shouted that they should save their energy and give up, since it was hopeless. Yet the two continued climbing as hard as they could, and after several hours of desperately effort wearied. Finally, one took heed to the calls of his fellows. Spent and disheartened, he quietly resolved himself to his fate, lay down at the bottom of the pit, and died as the others looked on in helpless grief.
The other continued to claw and climb with every ounce of energy he had, although his body was wracked with pain and he was completely exhausted. His comrades began anew, yelling for him to accept his fate, stop the pain and just die. Instead, he climbed harder and harder, and finally clawed his way high enough that he reached the hands of the other wrestlers atop the pit.
Amazed, the teams celebrated his miraculous freedom and gathered around to ask, “Why did you continue climbing when we told you it was impossible?”
Reading their lips, the astonished wrestler explained to them that he was deaf, and that when he saw their gestures and shouting, he thought they were cheering him on. What he had perceived as encouragement inspired him to try harder and to succeed against all odds.”
Encouraging words can lift someone up and help them make it through the day. Destructive words can cause deep wounds, and may become the weapons that destroy someone’s desire to continue trying, or even their life. A careless word can diminish someone in the eyes of others, destroy their influence and have a lasting impact on the way others respond to them. Likewise, positive, careful word can lift others up, empower their lives in a way that you could have never predicted, changing and potentially saving their lives.
This very situation happened to me.
I recall standing in the middle of my University surrounded by these buildings which would enable my change. Three o’clock in the morning, before my first day freshman year, tears flooded my face at the sheer possibility. No one believed I would be standing there. I was the first in my family to go to college. Due to my learning disabilities, impoverishment from parental divorce and job loss, humiliation at having been institutionalized in a children’s psychiatric hospital, and the crushed self esteem of living under the hand violence, abuse and trauma, almost all of teachers, doctors and family held very low expectations of any success. Some told me to give up and accept my fate.
And a few dark nights in my childhood, I tried to end it all.
But my wrestling coach taught me a dire lesson: if we have the ability to encourage others, if we have the opportunity to provide support, even if we don’t realize the impact we are making, we could make the difference between someone giving up and giving it all.
When facing a significant challenge, it can demand courage to overcome all of the terrible evidence to the contrary…
“It’s impossible, so you’re just going to accept it, and lower your expectations,” says our ego.
“It’s pointless, since no matter how hard we try, the same result happens,” says our experience.
“It’s too risky, so it’s better to wait for a safer, more certain opportunity,” says our reason.
But recall those pivotal individuals in your life who stood by you even if they couldn’t help directly, but remained there to show that they believed in your ability. And if you can’t recall them, then imagine.
“Let’s give it a shot,” whispers your heart.
“We’ll do it anyway,” commits your will.
“YES!” screams your spirit.
You may feel alone. But we all walk alone… together. We all fall into pits at some point and in some aspect of our lives. If it were not for a few pivotal people and circumstances in my history, I doubt I would have had the courage to overcome my challenges, and use them as opportunities to discover within myself the capacity to survive and thrive.
So, I’d like to share with you what has taught me how to be courageous, not abstract theories or colorful words, but concrete, practical tools and techniques which made the difference in my health, my career, and my life.
I’m giving this to you for free because I believe in you, and because together, we can help others empower themselves to overcome the challenges in their lives.
Click here to get this free gift from me which has taken me 17 years of travel, research and application to compile, distill and refine.
Use it, and we can do more than change our circumstances. We can make the difference in the lives of others.