Just needed to ban a poster who insisted that I was a dictator and tyrant because I would not allow him to post his negative rants to my page and that I censor my page to only promote positive messages. This is was the first time I had to ban someone for being correct.
A recent scientific study was performed to test the effectiveness of negative messages, by Professor Nilli Lavie from University College London. Lavie and his research team were surprised to find was that negative messages have a greater impact on us than positive ones.
Each volunteer in the 50-strong study was exposed to one word messages which were flashed on a computer screen. After each word was flashed the participants were asked to categorize the word they had just “seen” as good, bad or neutral. The researchers had previously allocated words to each group with words like “ear” and “kettle” being neutral, while “agony” and “murder” were categorized as being bad. Words like “flower” and “peace” were categorized as being positive. Participants were also asked how certain they were that their answer was correct.
The participants recorded 66% accuracy in identifying negative subliminal words. According to Professor Lavie, who conducted the study, our ability to identify negative messages is probably due to our survival instincts that are a direct result of evolutionary processes within our species. Levie is quotes as saying, “We can’t wait for our consciousness to kick in if we see someone running towards us with a knife or if we drive under rainy or foggy weather conditions and see a sign warning ‘danger’.”
Survival does depend upon recognizing the negative pre-incident indicators. However, if we want to move merely surviving to truly thriving, then we must take the most difficult step in conscious evolution: we must focus on the positive. It goes against our more dominating base instincts.
I found this to be true in fighting at every championship. Whenever I worried about what my opponent would do, I lost. Whenever I remained excited at the opportunities he would create for me by his offense or defense, I won. Not merely sports, it has also been true for me in writing, speaking, business, and more importantly, parenting and my own self-talk. How I think, speak and behave affects everything and everyone I interact with…
The poster is correct. And the “self-defense” I practice is against the downward sucking vortex of negativity.
Many people post to my page with “negative” comments because they’re in difficult situations and are asking for help, since I’m a wellness coach and that’s why they come to my page, and why I’m on Facebook. I devote as much of my discretionary time to providing my background and experience as a free resource here to help redirect the negative pull, cut the sandbags on the balloon and restart upliftment in performance, health and attitudinal enhancement.
I, however, cannot tell others what to think or how to behave. I can only aid them in shifting their energies from downward to upward, by bringing a mirror to reflect what theyre expressing. That’s all a coach can do: help recognize the direction, ask questions or pose cues which will give us a chance to decelerate, pause and redirect the path of our energies upward.
I spoke about this in 2003 in “Flow-State Performance Spiral” distinguishing between the Upward Spiral of the “Zone” (of optimal performance) from the Downward Spiral of the “Vortex.” How to observe the dis-integration of breath, posture and movement, and re-integrate them to shift energies became a foundational element to all of my coaching, represented in almost every book I’ve written.
However, as was the case again yesterday, an individual insisted on imposing their vitriolic feelings about me like hate graffiti on my page. They’re welcome to their opinion, but they’re unwelcome to vomit such vile comments in my house. Freedom of Speech only applies to the government not restricting personal expression; it has nothing to do with the having the right to cross boundaries on another individual’s private space.
I insulate this intentional community from self-ingratiating ire. I invest an enormous amount of discretionary time and energy to providing a free resource to people through FB and my blog. You gotta play nice, though, if you want to hang in the sandbox: there are boundaries to basic civility for posting to my page.
Creating healthy, clear, consistent boundaries to the irrationality of rage is part of the process in shifting energies to positive uplifting flow. Not resorting to equally debasing behavior, but rather, insisting upon civility will aid in the deceleration, pause and upward redirection. When someone is ready to actually take a moment to be open to shifting energy into productive dialogue, then they’re welcome to participate, but they don’t have the right to impose venomous attacks upon you.
Negativity has a health-suppressing impact. (And the contrapositive is also true: positivity has a health-bolstering effect.)
If you follow recent research findings at the National Institute of Medical Health, the field of psychoneuroimmunology has been repeatedly confirming from a biochemical standpoint what traditional health practitioners in India and China have been studying for thousands of years. We have tremendous advancements in technology, but there are sciences of the East, that we are only coming to validate in the sciences of the West. Somewhere in the middle, we are both correct. Read “Molecules of Emotion” by Dr Candace Pert, and “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” by Dr Robert Sapolsky. Great easily accessible resources for the above.