Judgment free

July 14, 2013 – 5:04 am


A juvenile attitude posted on my 10th wedding anniversary, “yeah ten years with the same woman??? WTF you thinking dude. keep trading up and tame a woman with a perfect body.”

The more you judge others, the less you’ll find love. You won’t domesticate someone into your own fulfillment, and you wont subjugate others into your own happiness. We aren’t meant to be tamed. We’re meant to run wild until we find someone else just as wild, to run with. I found those who want to run with me… into their own wild nature and many more join our rumpus everyday.

I’ve learned that perfection isn’t beauty and attraction isn’t love. I’ve relearned this lesson over and over again, but I intend to truly embed this lesson this time once and for all, and never make the mistakes I have made in my youth.

Despite all of the horrible attitudes I’ve held, like the ones destroying this young man and all those to whom he exposes his arrested perception, I can’t let my past bad attitudes make further bad decisions, though I often don’t make the same mistake twice; but rather four or five times to make sure I have it. Yikes.

I try to pay attention now when life shows me a lesson:
—> at first, it’s written on a billboard;
—> then, it hits me with a 2×4;
—> later, a see a wrecking ball swing in front of my window;
—> and finally it crashes through my life, wipes everything to the ground to make me start over, and learn it.

The only people worth being in my life are those who will help me through the hard times and then laugh with me after the hard times pass. The best times in my life have been filled with small, nameless moments, spending time smiling at private understandings with people who matter to me most. Often, those best moments happened within the worst of circumstances. Their presence in my life, changed it. I get this now, but only by continuing to keep paying attention.

When you keep your awareness open, listen and heed to the signs life gives you by the people surrounding you, then the billboards suffice. But when you repeatedly ignore the guidance you’re being graciously provided, the lesson returns again and again until you have no choice but to learn it.

Don’t look back. You’re not going that way. And all the signs are in front of you. So don’t look beyond them to an imagined “perfection.” By looking over your shoulder or gazing over the billboards, you’ll miss the easy messages, and life will need to offer you more obstinate insistences to gain your attention about the present moment, and the beauty of those in your life. If you’re waiting for a sign, here’s one: love.

Very Respectfully,
Scott Sonnon

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