Become Unbreakable.

February 4, 2009 – 3:49 am

This morning while accepting the gracious friend requests from all of my students and colleagues, I received friend request from an old high school classmate:

“DOOD! You #$%$#@ rule!! Stuff you doing is rad!! Remember me!! Prolly dont, but we yusta hang out. Been 4evah!! Anywho Sonnon, Im no longer a guest of the state. Lets grab some suds when you cum back to Penna!!”

When I was released from the psychiatric hospital, he was a senior, and I in Junior High; later jailed for assault and battery to students and a teacher, and evidently has had returned visits. During those times, I suffered the most unimaginably trauma, physically, mentally and emotionally. The abuse was… like hot fire burning through my brain, eroding my heart and leaving my body bruised and broken.

No apologies has come after 25 years; only a distorted, if not revisionist, history. I remember the ambulances. Sure, the spiritual thing to do is be magnanimous, befriend him and let bygones be bygones. But I’m no saint. I’m a human working to transcend my ego. And although I’ve come a long way, the only reply I could send him is:

“Suck it.”

Yes, I made something of myself. Yes, my life rocks. I did it without you. I did it in spite of you. And I even did it because of you… so I should say, “thank you,” but since I’m not enlightened yet, I think I’ll stick to, “Suck it.”

Grace has given me so many gifts that I fall to my knees every night in prayer, tears from my eyes welling in reflection of the day and its blessings. Nothing but Divinity - however you define it - could have placed in front of me the tremendous opportunities I’ve leaped upon.

But let’s get something straight here. I’m the one who did this. It’s the human who’s courageous.

DARE GREATLY

God will only meet you half way. To succeed, you need self-effort. Greatness never comes without the illusion of great risk. But you gotta realize, you’re not going to die. This is all just a Big Game. Sure, it feels like gut-wrenching fright. It should. That’s why few if anyone does it. If you DO, then the entire Universe will conspire for your success. But it takes your willful action in spite of being scared shitless.

YOU ARE EXACTLY THE CHANGES YOU NEED.

You will feel like you do not have enough; as if you’re under-equipped and under-resourced. When you face a real challenge, not a faux one which elicits no fear within you but a real one, you will always experience moments where it feels like there’s just not enough surrounding you to endure, and that you don’t have access to tools you need to surpass the challenges you face. NO MATTER WHAT you are exactly what you need right now, are equipped with everything you need right now to take the next actionable step toward your ever-deepening path of personal mastery.

GO IT ALONE ANYWAY.

You need the will to endure the feeling that you’re absolutely alone in the pursuit of your dreams. You’re not, but you need to be able to face the feeling that you are. It will happen. Be prepared because it’s tough. But that feeling of being alone… it means YOU are about to Summit your potential. Only at the top do you find solitude. It means you’re DOING IT! Chin up! Stop bracing. Open your eyes! Don’t flinch. Breathe it in! It’s now. Here. YOU! There are few things so delicious as that exquisite nectar of daring greatly… despite the feeling of being completely alone, destitute, and opposed.

Not only do you need to embrace the feeling of being alone, but you need to be willing to flip-off every bastard attempting to stifle you, squash your dreams out, and drag you down into their miserable suffering. Your shining only serves to remind them that they have taken the cowardly way out of inaction… of not being as brave as you. YOU are the one looking down the barrel of that risk and choosing to go forward with your dreams anyway… and jumping into the darkness of the unknown.

I’ve often heretically stated that the only thing that God omitted was a soundtrack; that’s why he created musicians. These are the lyrics from Fireflight’s song Unbreakable:

“Where are the people that accused me? The ones who beat me down and bruised me. They hide just out of sight, can’t face me in the light. They’ll return, but I’ll be stronger.

Sometimes it’s hard to just keep going. But faith is moving without knowing. Can I trust what I can’t see to reach my destiny? I want to take control, but I know better.

Forget the fear. It’s just a crutch that tries to hold you back and turn your dreams to dust. All you need to do is just trust.

God, I want to dream again, take me where I’ve never been. I wanna go there, this time I’m not scared. Now I am unbreakable, it’s unmistakable. No one can touch me, nothing can stop me.”

My life does rock, because of you… because of your support, your letters and messages, because of your willpower, courage, determination and tenacious aspiration to personal mastery.

And yes, my life rocks because of me.

Flow Thyself™,

  1. 9 Responses to “Become Unbreakable.”

  2. hello,

    coach sonnon… there is truth here. you could have done the “nice” thing and said, bygones are gone. however, if the truth of the matter is that you think, for whatever reason that he should “suck it”, then it would be a lie to deny that.

    perhaps, if in the intervening years he had done something to demonstrate he had changed, you may have seen fit to give the benefit of the doubt. but return visits?

    he can suck it, and likely, he does.

    you rock coach sonnon, because of him, you, the tribe. denying one as a “friend” on a page doesn’t change that fact!

    thanks

    By lorenzodamarith on Feb 4, 2009

  3. thank you for precisely the sort of message I needed to read today.

    By tnl on Feb 4, 2009

  4. Hi Scott,
    Thanks for being so vulnerable and real in this piece. I can’t tell you the number of times someone has come to me and said they were struggling with a certain issue - they often look surprised when I say I struggle with the same thing. The conversation then goes like this:

    Q “But isn’t it sinful”
    A “If we had to wait for perfect priests we wouldn’t have any.”

    The truth is we’re not always ready to forgive someone and let bygones be bygones. I struggle with those issues in my own life. But life is a process where we’re continually renewed and transformed. I think the problem with perfect people is that nobody can live up to them, but when we’re all on a journey we can always follow the person who’s a little farther up the trail.

    Peace,
    Conor+

    By Conor Alexander on Feb 4, 2009

  5. Awesome post! It is a game indeed…a perfect simulation. All of the intensity, ecstasy, pain, and death just serve to make it more challenging…and more rewarding!

    By Atl on Feb 4, 2009

  6. Damn! This is so deep, pertinent, ongoing and it wakes one up from the acquiescence one places themselves in. Great, honest, eye-opening piece here coach.
    Also, are you kidding on this bridge-building exercise. That’s one in which you part the Red Sea waters and go for the Sinai! I’m doing the basic bridge push-ups from your post a week ago and then you throw this one at me. Whew! Perseverance, sir, perseverance.

    By Kevin Dougherty on Feb 4, 2009

  7. Coach Sonnon,

    I had a very difficult time forgiving my former teacher. I wrote this last year after shedding some layers.

    “Real forgiveness is sacred closure. Unlike anger which strikes like lightning it often requires a passage of seasons - initial hardening, then softening, an opening, a reception and finally a movement that arises like gentle bubbles from the ocean deep.
    We forgive when we realize that gifting ourselves is more important than our sentencing.
    We forgive when we want to breathe fresh air.
    We forgive when we want to taste past the twists of our guts.
    We forgive when we want to hear the True voice that we are completely loved.
    We forgive when we tire of the hardened lens of myopia and naturally long for the expanse of unexplored horizons.
    We forgive when we want to feel more than the straitjacked mummy, enshrined and entombed away from Life calling on us to sing our song.
    We forgive so we can actually live.

    To Your Continued Success and Peace,

    Steve

    By Steve Seto on Feb 5, 2009

  8. Well said, Steve.

    And Conor’s remarks are so true - I think we’re all on a personal bandwidth when it comes to forgiveness - struggling with different areas. I’ve found personally, that the greater I have to humble myself to forgive someone, the greater I am at peace afterward.

    John Sifferman

    By John Sifferman on Feb 5, 2009

  9. Firm boundaries make solid walls for fools to slam against. Nice work. Suck it is much more appropriate.

    Soft constant-forgiveness is a deceptive kind of self-pity. The old days of clean, crisp revenge provided perpetrators instant feedback; that, in the long run, is more kind than forgiveness.

    By S.Smith on Feb 5, 2009

  10. By Scott Sonnon on Feb 7, 2009

You must be logged in to post a comment.