I'm broken!!!

[SFE]

I don't know exacly how to describe what I'm feeling, if you can call it a "feeling"...

I received Body-Flow on tuesday and have just finished it today (thursday).

I'm very interested on the philosophy of life, living and how our relationships work (with yourself and others). I have seen a lot of information about the biomechanics of Body-Flow and how they help you develop your own personal flow-scape (physically), for lack of a better term, in this particular section of the CST forum. VERY important stuff! What I'm concerned about right now is the self-image concept as well as proprioception concept. I use the word "concept" with some regret since it is not really a concept but a FORM, as Coach Sonnon states.

I was supposed to go to training tonight in my particular form of MA, Matsumura Kenpo Karate/Kobudo....I couldn't do it! I had to take some time with a friend of mine that I train CST with to help me come down from being blasted by a whole new perspective on my Self-Image! What I'm getting at is my WHOLE body felt different! I knew that something was wrong. I think that I'm preocupied...not preocupied on the information in Coach Sonnon's book, but trying to think like a normal person (if there is such a thing :D ) while "feeling" my proprioception for the first time!

This "sixth sence" has warped my brain! Combined with Coach Sonnon's idea of the REAL you has sent me over the "edge". Just in writting this post (which is something I would never do, opening myself up to people online; I normally lurk) I've grown. I finally feel MYSELF! It was very hard to talk to my friend because of procpriocepation, my "feeling" my body in a 3D sense; it got in the way of my ability to speak! Just as Coach Sonnon speaks of doing an excersise for the first time, I had to concentrate just to talk to my friend!

PLEASE tell me if anyone has felt this way! I feel like I am in NO control of my body/mind but at the same time I feel that I'm moving closer to the "master's" ability of movement.... :?

Coach Sonnon's "idea" (I use perentheses because it is flow for him :D ) of not being your addictions is the second half of my mind blender...I think that it is the worst (I.E. best) part!! I have been a smoker and drank too much for too long! But now I see that I am not my "addictions", they are just binding my Flow...

I'm sorry to ramble but I had to get this off my chest! Thank you all that have taken the time to read this...again I don't normally post on any type of website but thanks to the community that we have here, I'm starting to come out of my shell...and thanks Coach Sonnon.

Take care and don't forget the Philosophy of training...your mind and body are ONE!

Steve

[Scott Sonnon]

Steve,

Congratulations on your breakthrough, my friend. You're not rambling... anymore than any of us. Soon, this initial paradigm shift will calm down to a comfortable hum. The key is to remain diligent to deepening your daily practice and allow the lessons of your own intuition to network into the entire fabric of your life. Transform your form (not merely your shape) and everything necessarily follows.

[SFE]

Thanks Coach!

I feel a little bit better today...I'm still having some physical symptoms of trying to assimilate my new understanding, mostly I feel like my nervous system is EXTREMELY excited :shock: !

I've ordered the 3 tape series on Body-Flow, I'm very eager to get my hands on it! Started working with a few of the Biomechanical excersies and will continue to work with them as described in the book. They definately seem to suck up some of this new pent up energy that I have! Working on the image issue is something that is too hard to explain right now but let me say that I've already have identified some binding issues in my life and have stepped on the path to my flow!

Thanks again, I'll write back on my progress!

Steve

[somlor]

The Body-Flow book is available? On the page here http://www.rmax.tv/bodyflow.html it says it will ship May 16th.

[Scott Sonnon]

Sorry, RMAX.tv Productions was supposed to have removed that deadline, which was May, 2003. It's been out for more than a year.

[SFE]

Hey all!

I had another epiphany today, just an hour ago as a matter of fact!!!

I was working with my Clubbells and then went into my first session of Biomechanical Excersise tonight...I finished up and started to work with my training diary and review of the Body-Flow manual. I had to buy a highlighter for my second read, I wanted to make sure that I fully understood what shook me so much on that first read through (incidentally there is this great highlighter out with the feature of little flags that come out of the base of the pen that you can stick to pages that you flip to often, it is made by Post-it the same people that make your regular Post-it notes!).

Anyways, I came to think about Coach Sonnon's example of that there is no peak or valley in our performance. I thought about this in detail and came to a big conclusion concerning flow and how we percieve it...

There is no such thing as FAILURE!!! We lose our flow when we stop to think how we can change our behavior when we "fail" (think enter the valley). We were flowing until that moment. Since there is no real point in time (no past or future, only the present in relation to our memories and our predictions) by the time we have "failed" the "failure" has already past. Of course we will remember what we just did (that which didn't go as predicted) but instead of stopping our flow to analize what happened we should just assimilate it so the next time we'll make a better prediction. Of course we must always keep in mind that as human beings our predictions will never be perfect; weather in thir rate of percieved "failure" or "Success". There is neither, only our continuous flow through the present time. Just as Coach Sonnon states, there is no Valley or Peak only the path or FLOW. Never worry if your predictions will come true, ir you'll defeat your opponent, put your foot in your mouth etc. No matter how much you think about it you won't know if your prediction is correct until your attempt!!!

It is all this thinking that gets in the way! If we have things that bind us in our lives thinking about them is EXACTLY what binds our flow, not our actions but our taking the time to blame ourselves/others instead of "fixing" ourselves!!! On the road to ourselves (which I'm not even close to yet, got A LOT of questions besides self-image ones) Coach Sonnon has provided the "shocks" for us to get over these "bumps" of our negative behavior!

Thanks for listening, I'll continue to post as I "improve" :lol: or should I say simplify!

Take care,

Steve