Rudeness

[Silo9]

Rudeness.

I would like to clarify an issue. In doing so I need to put out some personal information. I’m not making excuses; just trying to clarify why I’ve been acting in an inappropriate manner. That is:
“Private messaging other coaches and instructors to get answers you were told you were not going to receive.”

I need to start what brought me to RMAX in the first place. My Shodan Rank Exam. I needed an edge. The Coaches/Instructors and Tribe members have been excellent at helping me prepare for this. Why it’s so important is a long story, involving the passing of my Head Instructor. Why I need the edge?


I suffered several injuries. Lumbar at work. I’ve been trying to weasel around the advice RMAX Coaches and Instructors have been given me, about fixing the problems with my lumbar, while trying to use CST to improve my TMA. Then I got hit with a reduction in force at work, and took a nice pay cut, and got thrown into a very physically and unhealthy position. My job is the anti-CST. Trying to adapt has been very difficult. I’ve still been looking for “tricks and secret training methods” in CST.

The RMAX TGM, taught me the opposite. I’ve been trying to use my Bells, to give me an edge. Against the advice of the Coaches. If I am daily loading my joints improperly at work, why can’t I load them properly when I get home? Won’t that help me with improvements for my Exam? I wanted an answer that I was not given, and kept asking. I apologize to all those involved.

I’ve learned a lot, and even thought I have my bells, I haven’t used them. I practice cleaning the slate daily, and work on Be Breathed, and Intu-Flow®™. I learn and study, and still practice my TMA. Not as much! Trying to get the slate clean first, but…. that’s an ongoing process!!!

I am increasing my TMA training, despite knee problems. My Lumbar is coming along fine, but I have good days and bad days. Does and will this cause more problems? Yes. So why?
Once I get this certification out of the way, I can transfer to another job in another city, which will greatly decrease the stress and damage to my body. Then I can heal. Then I can move away and go to what’s calling out to me. RMAX. This will also put me in a better financial situation, and allow me easier access to attend the CST seminars, and work more closely with RMAX.

I’m not trying to make excuses, but I’m trying to look at the big picture, despite the problems it will and can cause.

I will use as much RMAX material that I can, in a proper relationship, to the four pillars. However, I need to work on my TMA material, so I can move on and past. I hope this makes sense.

I apologize to all the Coaches/Instructors and Tribe members for my behavior. Please let me nail this damn test, and those that want to mess me up, so I can move on. As far as CST, I will follow the guidelines.

Once again, I apologize to all involved. You have been nothing but supportive.

Thank You,
David A. Versaw

[Scott Sonnon]

David,

Do your thing, amigo. We're rooting for you!

[KD Jones]

David -

Deep stuff. I had a similar (but much less loaded issue) that I was high-centered on. In my case I was emotionally attached to a single exercise that was against the grain of CST. My final decision went in the direction of CST, and I am similarly thankful for the direction I've gotten.

The power of what's in one person's heart can't be judged by another. Occasionally, even when a sane, honest, enormously knowledgable and caring person suggests otherwise for good reason, there's a different path to walk. I hesistate to say that, really, because something like it is used as an excuse for taking an egoistic, prideful or harmful path far, far too often. And I believe that in the vast majority of cases, one is presented with at least some sane, honest, enormously knowledgable and caring voice that is spot on the truth, and is ignored; the excuse being that the heart is invisible.

That said, it's obviously not for me to judge what you're doing either for worse or for better, but I will say that a lot of what you've written tugs my emotional chain, and makes me want to say that I understand - though there is no possibility that I truly can.

You go, and try to go peacefully as you do. I can't add to Coach's statement that "we're rooting for you," because something simple like that coming from an honorable person is a true blessing.

If your deceased instructor was who he sounds like he was, and if he would want you to do this, I'm sure he would only want you to do your utmost, come what ends may. So try to remember what Coach Sonnon has said here (I hope he will forgive me quoting him in this context):
"... if you want to be great, you need to be detached from winning and losing ... athletes associate winning with surviving a combative encounter and losing with dying. Very strong emotional attachments form as a result of this erroneous association… attachments which impede ... great performance ..."

If all of that misses the mark - which it easily may, my aim varies wildly - please forgive my presumption. We'll be looking for your 'unreserved' return, in one piece.

[Coach Tran]

Versaw,

I echo Herr Sonnon Guru-ji's thoughts and feelings for you. I wish you much success on your exam. I understand your pressure and just know we are there with you in spirit. When it is all done I hope you will share your insight and experience with us. Just be careful and think about your long term performance.

Yours in CST,

Coach Honey (inside joke between Mr. Tran and Mr. Versaw)

[Silo9]

Thank you.

Um....I'm really not going anywhere, unless I'm getting tossed out of the forum.

I just need to go back to some kind of strenght training, and add some "old school style" training to my regiment. I still want to have my RMAX Training Group, work with Joseph on Biomech stuff, Be Breathed, and work on Intu-Flow®. I also planned on keeping up with my blog.

If this contradicts, and I need to stop mixing CST with my TMA, please let me know. Honestly, I'm only teaching beginners right now, and applying CST training to my own kata's. Well, a Aki JJ class too, but we've only been working on breathing, posture. movement, sticky hands, and sticky knife. Just people I'm training with, I'm just a student that's been invited to join by the Instructor.

Everything else is Intu-Flow® and Be Breathed and Biomech drills on my own.

I was'nt going anywhere, except hopefully closer, in the long run. Unless you know something I don't.
Untill I hear more. I will keep my posts to a min.

Thank you for your kind words.
Dave

[Coach Jones]

David,

You gotta do what you gotta do. Best of luck and you have our support. Be aware though, that in good conscience, we can't recommend training protocols or programs for you beyond that of recovering from your injuries.

Even though I understand your position and what you're trying to do, CST is a health first system.

Coach Honey (inside joke between Mr. Tran and Mr. Versaw)

Sometimes it's okay to keep things to yourself. LOL. I don't want to know.

[Connie Brown]

Just wanted to encourage your journey too, David. Don't worry about how it's sometimes messy to balance everything. If you can live with us always saying the same thing, we can live with you working to the best of your circumstances.

[KD Jones]

I think the "going somewhere" thing was my fault. Maybe I read something into your post. I'm glad you're not going anywhere... I still mean all that stuff I typed though. Like I said, my aim is katiwompus on occasion.

[Silo9]

Coaches,

Thank you for your support. Don't get me wrong, I'm saying this with respect, but you kind of got me on the defensive. (Yes, I'm wearing my feelings on my sleeve)

Exapmle: When I get hit with both the knee and lumbar problem, one Instructor refered me to another, about modification of the Xtention program. It was recommended to me to try Xtention while sitting on a P-Ball, which would take pressure off the knees. Then it came back to me that I should'nt do Xtention till I was able to do Intu-Flow® Lvl 2. So I stopped

So that's what I was looking for, by inquiring of each of you individualy. Can there be a modification of programs? Something one Coach might know or use, that another might not? I think I know the answer now. Just want to let everyone know, I was'nt trying to step on anyones toes.

"CST is a health first system" got it. I was looking at it in a slightly different way, which I won't get into, but I got it!

I think I should stop worring about all this stuff, and know it's enough that you all have my best interest at heart. So, once again, I thank each of you for your time.

I'm putting this one rest, and going to go for a walk, then clean my slate. Then off to work on Be Breathed methods during TMA kata.

Hey, and that Coach Honey thing? Yeah, I think Coach Tran and I should keep that to ourselves.

Would'nt it be great if the forum had a spell checker?

Have a great Sunday, and thank you.

David Versaw

[Silo9]

KD,

You too! We've typed at each other before. Thanks for the support. Just had 3 PM's pop up. Yikes!

Cheers,
Dave