Kathleen's log

[radiantkd]

Ok, I have my notes from my session with Coach Sonnon. I need to go back and outline just what it is I am going to be doing.

I need to need new vocabulary and think of need frame of reference for making sense of this.

I am excited to be learning something I have so much respect for. I am toally at ease being a CST rookie. That feels great. I have never started anything before where I had NO anxiety about knowing so little.

I keep thinking about what you said that the memory IS there.

One session evoked 8 layers of data and um, let's see...40 years of messages about not being all right in my body. I am sure it goes earlier but needed to stop and assimilate first.

What blew me away is how I felt with the weight of the Clubells. Soo that is dessert. First I do the clearing stuff. Build the foundation before I get to pick them up. Don't put patterns of power into a locked up body.

The yearning for it activates my motivation. Never in my life felt that before.

Ok, off to learn the language so i can make sense of what the hell I am doing :P

Kathleen

[Randell Waddell]

What an honour it is to have you join us on our explorations.

Our "tribe" is very unique.

Cheers
Randell

[Scott Sonnon]

Great introduction, Kathleen. I look forward to reading your insights!

[radiantkd]

HI Randall,

I sure got that your tribe is unique and I am thrilled to have found you.
Coach Sonnon is a gift to all of us. he is getting me to do stuff that I would not have imagined I could. I like it a lot.

kathleen

[radiantkd]

Date: 5/25/04

Time: 9:15 AM

Place: My office floor

Energy Level: Energized and focused

Exercise Selection:

I did 5 of the pelvic rock exercise 5 times. (I have to learn its name)
5 of the shoulder rotation on each side
4 shin boxes

Rest period

Short. I forgot to count this

RPE: 4

RT: 3

RPD: 2

Sensations: LIked how it felt. Was not startled by the stiffness and pain in my lower back. Enjoyed how my breath flowed with it. Glazd I knew to expect the crunch in my shoulder.

Images: The pelvic rocking took me to the time when I gave birth to David and had an epidural that had to be redone because they couldn't find the right vertebrae. I was in hard labor. I think I left my body. It is where the stiffness point is.

Thoughts:

Put the dogs out first. They figured down on the floor meant play and I started laughing. Hey, this is SERIOUS! They were perflexed by pelvis thrusts. Gave me perspective. We all enjoyed emulating connie's hula.

This process is giving me great compassion for new people coming to our site. Information overload makes you stupid, LOL. I had a hard time remembering what in God's name I was supposed to be doing.

Questions:

I am assuming the idea is learn circular movement in all of these actions, yes? We learn the parts such as 4 directions and then put them together into a smooth flow?

[Scott Sonnon]

Kathleen,

Laughing's good medicine, as you already know, and as my coach told me in Russia, "if you're not laughing, you're not breathing correctly."

Yes, there is a step-by-step process to CST Wellness Recovery Phase:

• 1. Learn the (in general) four cardinal directions of each joint range of motion: (in general) front, back, right, left.
  2. Sew these together into a circle (front, right, back, left, front, or the reverse).
  Then the CST Wellness Coordination Phase progresses on to more sophisticated shapes (the infinity or figure 8 sign) and then the CST Wellness Refinement Phase (diagonal infinity and clover leaf).

You can find more about this graduation of steps, if you have time, by reading: Lum-barred from Pain-Free Mobility.

The body remembers the trauma of epidurals, especially amidst the incredible strong contractions of labor. Next time you practice in that area, let the area know that it did a good job protecting you up until now, and now it's safe to relax, heal and grow strong again.

[radiantkd]

The anxiety of knowing what I am supposed to be doing is creating stress. I understand the theory, and the concept of progressive motion. I understand about holding and eomtional blockage. I am more than willing to find the edge and move through it. None of that is an issue.

This morning, I went to *do* and I had not a clue. I have notes from my session, but they are incoherent to me. I do not have memory in my muscles. Or if I do,my brain cannot access on the simplest level.

Here is the frustration. When I was using the clubbells, I felt they were pulling me into a motion that felt freeing and opening. It created motivation. Trying to do the pelvic rotations, I just wanted to scream because I felt so stupid. I could not remember what to do. Then the feelings about having a body that doesn't remember came up.

Now, having read what you are writing, I can assume this is about going into where the blocks are. Probably the emotional frustration is a clue about the block. So I feel like whining, LOL.

And heaven help me, I feel like the new people who come to my program and whine and flap about what to do. I need some help here. What do I do?

Kathleen

[Scott Sonnon]

Be patient with yourself, as you are with others. Frustration is indeed the key marker of some event in your body. Frustration with the pelvic circles in particular seems to be calling you to attention in that area.

The difficult news to hear is that there's no avoiding it, only moving through the frustration, and continuing to explore the ranges of motion despite it. Frustration can be a viscious cycle resulting with negative internal dialogue at the end. Best to exhale, smile and forgive yourself.

The good news is that finding the negative internal dialogue (frustration) is like finding the end of a rope, which if followed will lead you back to the source of the issue.

Review the Warrior Wellness program for visual reminder of the exercise if you need it.

But don't think that your body doesn't remember. Your body ALWAYS remembers. It's the tension of the source of the issue which is attempting to protect itself by concealing the issue - in this case with frustration.

[radiantkd]

yah under the frustration is rage.

I think we are onto something here,

I am moving.

Kathleen

[Connie Brown]

awesome Kathleen. Your rope you are following is a hawser